#^@!, I don't want to do this anymore!

There are days I don't even know if I want to do this anymore. Usually in Late Winter/Early Spring, when I haven't been near her for weeks or months. The separation doesn't make my heart grow fonder, it makes my mind wander. Did I buy the right boat? Did I do the right thing? Am I still on the path? Is this path the right path? What the $%^ am I doing with my life?

It is hard enough to remain committed to such a long range project, and to do it on a shoestring, but being away from her – physically disconnected – is so disheartening. The project leers at me like Sendak's Wild Things. Without the contact, without the least amount of progress, the steps melt into a monolith, progress made is forgotten. I get frozen just looking at the whole thing. I get scared.

And then I get to spend some time with her. And like Max, I conquered the Wild Things by "staring into all their yellow eyes without blinking once." A couple weeks ago, the tarp came off. The bilge was dry in Spring for the first time ever. I've been back a couple times, but today was nearly a full day. Dad and I cleaned her up with a couple sponge mops. And while Dad painted a couple bits for me, I began sanding again. The radius project really is moving along. These last long steps are sanding and fairing.

After the gunwale is faired, the rest of the hull will be prepped and she'll finally have some paint on her again; primer, at least. Also on the docket this Summer is replacing the cockpit floor. It will be reinforced and a couple access hatches will be installed. On Rain Days, I have some cabinetry work and wiring to do down below. It is so...damn...good to finally be back in Douglas working on my boat!!